The 90-Day Rule

One of things that I love about blogging, versus writing for a column, is that I can be blunt. I don’t care how “evolved” a person is and how much people profess to hate “playing games,” the bottom line is that EVERYONE plays games (consciously or not)! For the sake of the enlightened person, I’ll do my best to explain the subconscious game playing.

As much as you try to throw out the list in your head of whom you’ve decided is the perfect mate for you, you still have a picture of the ideal mate. And because of that picture, when you first meet a potential partner, you present your “public” self. What is the public self? It is the persona that you want the world to see. For example, you probably don’t want anyone outside of your trusted circle to know that you watch the entire (and only) season of “My So Called Life” just so that you can salivate over Jared Leto. This dirty little secret isn’t going to be the first thing that you share with that gorgeous guy that you’ve just met. For a guy, you’re probably not going to share that 5-years after graduating college, you still feel that beer and pizza is the breakfast of champions. No, no ... you are going to present yourself as a well-rounded and polished individual.

So, yeah um ... okay, what is “The 90-day Rule,” right? It is the first 3 months, 90 days, 2160 hours, 129600 minutes, 7776000 seconds that you know a person. I don’t give a crap what anyone says, this period of time is when each person is on his or her very best behavior. He will not dare leave the toilet seat up, she will not nag you to meet her parents, he will make sure that his friends don’t act like apes, she will make sure that her friends don’t either. Everything about this new romance is bright, shiny, and fucking perfect. Then comes day 91! You’ve now established your new relationship and you’re going to begin to see the cracks in the other person’s personality.

The absolute must for dating – Do not get overly invested in the other person before 90 days. And that, dear people, is “The 90-day Rule”. Oh, by the way, “The 90-day Rule” applies to any situation ... a job ... a friendship ... a marriage. :)

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