Tips to attain a healthy date life

So you’ve met a guy, there’s an attraction, and at some point he asks you to dinner or vice versa. As with 90 percent of women, you begin to go through a checklist. Is he boyfriend/husband material? What kind of father would he be? Stop! If your objective for dating is solely to find a mate then you’ve already lost. Approaching each date as if it were a “boyfriend/husband” interview is a waste of time. This is only a date, as simple get together of two people, who at this point, do not necessarily share more then a physical attraction.

The objective of dating should be to simply have fun, enjoy the other person’s company, and hopefully make a new friend. Let’s explore the friend concept. Think for a moment how much respect and value you have for your friends. Your friends are people that you deeply care for, their opinions and thoughts are valued, and you sincerely respect them as human beings. The aforementioned sounds like a great recipe for a successful relationship right? So why shouldn’t you approach dating with friendship at the forefront?

If you’re honest with yourself, you can agree that the best relationships are founded upon mutual respect born from friendship. Unfortunately, if you’ve been taking the “boyfriend/husband” shopping approach to dating, you can’t get there from here. You need to take a step back and evaluate you before you can move forward.

Here are a few tips to get you started:

• Get rid of that stupid checklist. Be honest, you know that you have some checklist in your head or possibly even on paper regarding the perfect mate. Guess what? The perfect mate doesn’t exist and it is completely unfair to another person to attempt to make them live up to your fantasy standards. If you wouldn’t want a guy expecting you to be the perfect “trophy” gal, then don’t expect the perfect anything from them.
• Do you know who you are? Have you taken the time, energy, and work to discover who you really are? If you continuously date the same type of guy or have a pattern for ending up in the same type of unhealthy relationship, doesn’t it make sense to step back and take some time to figure out what’s healthy for you? Recognizing redundant dating patterns is the first step toward developing new and healthy approaches for dating.

Ask yourself this - Would you rather go out on 50 dates that lead to a few awesome friendships or would you rather rush through and end up in one horrible, unhealthy relationship? Dating is supposed to be a fun, no pressure experience. Focus your energy on simply enjoying the other person’s company and you will be a happier person for it. Remember this, you have to have a positive, healthy love for yourself before you can have a healthy, positive love for anyone else.

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